Book One: A Couple O’ Conjurings
By Matthew Cash
A Butchered for Cash Production
Bizarre Fantasy Horror
Official Story Synopsis
What do you get if you cross a knobless wizard with a team of radioactive religious fanatics, a foul demon, a coven of senile, pervy devil worshippers, and the world’s crappiest con men?
Cursed from a young age, Seamus has since spent his life practising – and cocking up – the mysterious occult arts. When one day he happens upon a book offering him the chance to wreak vengeance upon the demonic entity who stole his dangly bits and reversed his digestive system, he didn’t think twice.
Unfortunately, Seamus’s decision to summon the legendary Nameless One will endanger not only his life, but also his next door neighbour’s.
Oh – and the fate of the universe, too.
And so begins a caper that will squish your brains into mush, make blood erupt from your nether regions, and squirt every other bodily fluid out through your ears, nose and tear ducts.
Surely you don’t want to miss that, right?
First, don’t skip the pre-story stuff; the title page, quotes, that stuff… good for a snicker. Second, the quotes are very varied, which made me a bit unsettled, but the first chapter is so unrepentantly irreverent that I soon forgot my trepidation. With Chapter 2 the story slides from irreverent to bizarre. From there, it plunges to unapologetically irreverently bizarre.
This might be a good time to insert a graphic content and language warning. So, there is graphic content and language. A lot of graphic content and language. It is integral to the story and story telling. You don’t even have to be EASILY offended for this to offend you. It is offensive. It’s also hilarious, in an “I’m going to hell for laughing at this,” kind of way.
This is graphic, perverted, irreverent fantasy horror with a bizarre twist. The bizarre twist is that it’s actually a good story and, graphic content not withstanding, is actually very well written.
Is there really a Book Two?
Will there be a combo paperback?
Or is the end just a jerking of one’s chain?
Either way, I must have this on the shelf.
This is wicked fun at it’s very best!
Get it on Amazon: US Link
Get it on Amazon: UK Link
About the Author: Matthew Cash
Matthew Cash, or Matty-Bob Cash as he is known to most,was born and raised in in Suffolk; which is the setting for his full length novel Pinprick.
He has always written stories since he first learnt to write and most, although not all, tend to slip into the many layered murky depths of the Horror genre.
His influences ranged from when he first started reading to Present day are, to name but a small select few; Roald Dahl, James Herbert, Clive Barker, Stephen King, Stephen Laws, and more recently he enjoys and has what he refers to as a ‘major book-on’ for Adam Nevill, F.R Tallis, Michael Bray, William Meikle and Iain Rob Wright (who featured Matty-Bob in his famous A-Z of Horror title M is For Matty-Bob, plus Matthew wrote his own version of events which was included as a bonus).
In 2016 he started his own publishing label BURDIZZO BOOKS.
He is a father of two and a husband of one, he’d happily have more but he doesn’t think his wife would be too happy.
About the Author: Jonathan Butcher
Jonathan Butcher is an English writer who likes to tell strange, unique, and usually dark tales. When he was 7 years old, his teacher banned him from writing about ghosts or monsters for an entire term – but he hasn’t stopped since.